December 2001

Dear Saints and Aints.

Shalom

The girl’s home, in Yohan’s village, where the wedding took place, bathed in glorious early morning sunshine, lies deserted. The wedding guests are gone; the babble of voices silenced and laughter stilled. The few of us left that will return by our bus to Nagpur sit scattered around the grounds either drinking coffee or simply wrapped in our own thoughts enjoying the warming rays of the sun.

Though customs vary in different parts of the country and even within different cultural entities within the same geographical area the common denominator seems to be that weddings are generally big affairs. Yohan’s wedding was no exception. I wanted to put on the dog! Though it was not lavish – just very nice. Some 7500 people attended. It was a major event. A great success! The food was out of necessity simple and was served on stitched together leaves from trees to people sitting on the ground on mats beneath the pandal. (Such “plates” are readily available in local markets.)

It also was slightly different, more complicated and therefore more expensive as his people and her people dwell in Khandesh, an area in Western Maharashtra some 650 km from here. To transport all of them to Nagpur and accommodate them would have been a logistic nightmare. On the other hand not to have some kind of function in Nagpur - a way for people to meet the couple - would have been a discourtesy to our local friends. So, we had the actual wedding in his village and the reception at Nagpur. This satisfied everybody – as far as such a thing is possible.

The reception here in Nagpur was attended by only some 950 people. Serving a smaller but a more educated and sophisticated group of people, the food was more elaborate served to them on proper plates etc. The decoration was done well and the food was good and plenty. The leftovers . . . Well there are simply no leftovers with over 600 kids around ... The kids were not part of the 950.

No doubt, looking at it from a Canadian perspective it is big. But one hardly dares to leave out a friend or acquaintance. It is not the done thing. Yohan, myself and Prem Sewa being well known and having friends in all strata of society, while not going to the “highways and byways”, were compelled to invite a lot of people – though gladly. Among the very special guests were Lillian Visser from Smithers, BC Canada and her son Ken. She, at 86, feared neither Bin Laden nor anybody else.

While such an event attended by so many people, must seem hugely expensive to people in Canada etc. it is much less here. Apart from the difference in cost for food, we used our own facilities and the majority of the work was done by our own staff and friends. Still it came to about $4000 (Canadian).

Though not all those invited will come, it is a courtesy to deliver at least a wedding card preferably by a member of the family. I personally have delivered over a 100 cards. The staff and some close friends delivered others. (Priya had her own cards made to be distributed among her friends and Yohan also had some 500 cards printed for his friends. All in all – three sets of invitations – all three different.) In keeping with this custom it was only common courtesy – from my acquired Indian cultural perspective – to send an invitation to my friends far and wide. Apart from the fact that it would have been great had some of you come, I wanted to share with you the immense joy I felt about Yohan’s wedding – as many of you know him for ages. I deemed the card a permissible extravagance – if $0.45 (Canadian) can such be termed . . .

Of course, I chose the nicest wedding card I could find; did the layout myself as I did not trust a “mere printer” with such an important job and personally printed the addresses and photos on the envelope. The poem on the back of the card is however not my creation. Anyhow, with all this the beautiful card came only to about $0.20 Canadian. Don’t be disappointed – beauty needs not be expensive ... Add another $0.25 Canadian for the extra postage – the newsletter included accounted for most of the postage - the price comes to $0.45 Canadian per card. The love which sped it on its way – has no price.

Lest you wonder - the expenses were not met from sponsorships funds. The by far larger part came from me, then from Yohan and lastly from generous gifts sent by friends to me or directly to Yohan for that purpose.

A lump forms in my throat as I reminisce on that moment when the couple came walking through dense crowds of people to the platform. Priya looked gorgeous in her white gown which so incredibly contrasted with the clothes of the women looking at her with both joy and, no doubt, some envy. I could not help but think, “What a beautiful couple.”

Priya, like Yohan is a Mawchi tribal, she has a B.A. and is of course a Christian. She is vivacious and is – as far as I am concerned the wife Yohan needs. She already made him loose weight and, like most women – so I am told – has plans to “perfect” him further. The way Yohan looked at her I could almost hear him pray: “Lord may she never change.” Of course, both will have to make compromises. The hungry tiger comes to mind who suggested one to the hunter who wanted his fur: “I eat you. This way you get your fur and I get my meal.”

I did not officiate at the wedding as I was too scared to take the blame later on. My fears seemed justified when, after the exchange of rings the congregation sang: “Mistaken souls that dream of heaven.”

But I did preach. My message was simple. A funeral has to precede a marriage; Yohan has to die to his wants and come alive to her wants and vice versa. I was suitably impressed with my own message applying it to my relationship to Christ – who already died. Regrettably – I am still too much alive for my own good. I would scarcely been rated a Christian Gentlemen during the weeks of preparation . . .

Whatever, when the last guests drove out the gate after the reception, I danced a jig in the middle of the road. I felt an incredible joy and relief that all had gone so well. The hard work of staff and friends had paid rich dividends in terms of the happiness of Yohan and Priya and our guests. When I protested to all the congratulations coming my way, saying it was the staff that did it all, a highly placed friend in the Home Ministry commented: “That is your greatest achievement and contribution to our country; you empowered people.” Our staff and kids are a great bunch of people even if I frequently have the urge to strangle some of them ...
Now Christmas is around the corner. The kids are already exited and bubbling over. The staff  is busy planning for the event. We already charted out the program, prepared the menu and ordered the sweets etc. for the “stockings” in this case a plastic bag which the kids will get Christmas morning. Apart from the dramas the kids will enact on Christmas Eve the center of Christmas for our kids is summed up in the word --- food. This year some 100 chickens will go into the “ministry” ... Of course we also will decorate the place with little flags, balloons and tinsel.

As for me, it will be a day to relax with a good book or simply flop on my bed and scare the birds away with my snoring. In order to loose some weight I worked with the kids moving sand and dirt. It beats doing pushups and is also more productive. Of course, the kids love it and I feel the better for it. Though my frequent inquiry whether I looked skinner than before is answered with a grin -- in the negative ...

Well, I am rambling on. Thank you again for the multitude of your gifts, your prayers and words of encouragement.

In His Great Love.

Frank.